Too Much, Too Soon?

Last night, as my fellow writers and I celebrated the end of our romance-writing class as we know it, my thoughts turned towards my post-editing prospects.

I already know that I’m taking a huge, huge risk with my attempt to self-publish this manuscript; nothing scares me more than the prospect of not being able to afford the publishing costs. I’ve already taken a risk with getting an editor to read my work, with no real guarantee of compensation other than a profit-sharing agreement. Just looking at my prospects on CreateSpace scares the crap out of me.

And don’t even get me started on the query-letter process. I know I’m going to do it. I’m getting there.

Then there’s the matter of a second book, which… well, I know I want to do it (poor, pitiful Paul Carreon, is all I’m going to say) but I don’t know if I would still have it in me to write it, knowing that I have two more years left of residency in the PhD program. What used to be so logical to me – writing fiction alongside my doctoral work – now fills me with “what-if” questions that often end up leading to me questioning my worth and my credibility.

The biggest question right now in my heart isn’t “What next?” but “Should I do it?”

I know, I know – I should take this one day at a time, as it should be. I’m just worried that all of the mistakes that I’m going to make from here are going to cost me.

What do you think?

Love, Stella

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Stella Torres

is the author of the adult contemporary romances Save the Cake, Crushingly Close, and Nine Years Away, as well as the short story “Be Creative” in the anthology Kids These Days: Stories from Luna East Vol. 1.

In her previous life, she has worked in public relations, taught English as a second language, and even attended graduate school (twice!). She has lived in Indonesia, Honolulu, and Quezon City before moving back to her hometown of Los Banos, a few hours’ drive (with traffic) from the heart of Manila.

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