Maybe This Time

Before I begin, I’d like to acknowledge the handful among you who have been with me through the ups and downs of my writing career. I’m glad that you’re all there for me, even during the moments when I feel like giving up. Thank you, from the very bottom of my heart, for all the love and support that you have given to me in the past few years that I’ve been writing my little (and not-so-little) stories.

With that said, I’d like to end this year with a little reflection, as I always do on this blog.

You see, I didn’t start off this decade on the right foot; I was sad and uncertain about my own future. And now, ten years later, I’m still not happy, and I’m afraid that I’m a lot less certain about my future now than I was ten years ago.

And as tempted as I am to make some grand declaration of where I’m going in the new decade, I’m still bogged down by the aftermath of what has happened in 2019. I’m sure that I’ve documented some of it on this blog, but more things have changed, too. I’m not on social media as much as I used to at the beginning of the year. I still haven’t posted makeup photos on Instagram. And two weekends ago, I spent an entire Sunday afternoon sending out applications for online freelance jobs.

Imagine that. Me, going back to freelancing again. It’s no joke.

So on that note, I don’t think #MCYourself2019 was a big failure; in fact, it has taught me a lot about what I want out of life and where I should re-orient my compass. Maybe this uncertainty can be a good thing.

Until then, here’s to more positive things ahead in 2020! See you next year.

Love, Stella

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Stella Torres

is the author of the adult contemporary romances Save the Cake, Crushingly Close, and Nine Years Away, as well as the short story “Be Creative” in the anthology Kids These Days: Stories from Luna East Vol. 1.

In her previous life, she has worked in public relations, taught English as a second language, and even attended graduate school (twice!). She has lived in Indonesia, Honolulu, and Quezon City before moving back to her hometown of Los Banos, a few hours’ drive (with traffic) from the heart of Manila.

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